He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize