Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
