So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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