I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
