By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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