guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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