Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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