Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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