he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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