we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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