I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
