You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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