i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
