i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?