someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail