tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
