Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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