I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
