am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
