He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
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Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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