I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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