so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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