Its about making memories worth repressing
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
