Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
