you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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