my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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