Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
