I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize