sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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