You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
