Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
