Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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