I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
