I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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