If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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