But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
