DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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