It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
