The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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