I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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