East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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