Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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