Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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