some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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