and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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