Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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