Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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