It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
