Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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