I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
