And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
