Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we're so committed to being not committed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
