**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Say something about gay babies.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
