I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
