Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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