I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I want a musical about memes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize